Wansapanataym in Manggahan, there live a flat-chested woman named Arajaya. She is very adorable not only because she’s beautiful but also adorable because she is adorable like Ador Mawanay.
Because Arajaya has a flat chest, she dreamed of having very large teats like Era Madrigal in her 2008 calendar posted in their room with camel’s toes. Out of nowhere, she saw her piggy bank and thought of a very great idea. She broke it and rushed outside to Belo’s Clinic.
Sarah noticed her and said, “Hey you plat-chested women, wat ar you going to wer? Looking at yorselp, didn’t you ashamed op yorselp beecoz yor plat breasted?”
“Don’t give a flying fuck Sarah. And mind your own business!” replied Arajaya with arching-eyebrows. “Now get lost.”
On her way to Belo’s Clinic, she checked her money, counted her cents, and noticed that it is not enough for breast enlargement. Luckily she passed-by in front of Paotsin Siomain and Siopao and thought of a very great idea.
Five hours later, she went back to their house and saw Sarah standing at the door as if ridiculing her. “Sow wat hub we hub her?” then focused her sight to Arajaya’s breast. “Oh no! How did was happends? It kent be…. Haw was that happends?”
“Sorry Sarah… I pity you. Don’t worry continue praying and who knows, the good Lord may give you this…”
Sarah ran while crying… Arajaya was so overwhelmed because of her accomplishment. Suddenly, her stomach ached… “Oh, I’m hungry.” She said, “Good thing I have two large size Siopao here.” Then she detached the two siopao from her breast and eat it.
And she lived happily ever after.
Arajaya was sipping her cup of brewed coffee served with hot pandesal by Coffeebean – so Filipino – so indigent – when a group of infamous people started to occupy the near-by infamous café a.k.a Starbucks. They were so noisy that Arajaya’s blood boiled – temperature almost reaching 412 kelvin.
But since Arajaya is a woman of sophistication, she decided to just ignore the crowd and let them live the way they wanted.
Suddenly, she felt a strong chill. She felt a very odd sensation from her nape to her head – the FEELING of being watched. But then again, Arajaya never gave a damn.
When she was about to eat her hot pandesal, she started to hear a familiar voice from her back.
“What a very small world” said the woman in a maid’s uniform.
Arajaya turned around and was surprise to what she saw.
“Well if my hippocampus serves me right, you are Arajaya, my former friend who turned her back from me. Aren’t you?”
“Wow! What a very well rehearsed introduction. Inday – my former friend who framed me up to escape a crime she’d done. Who would forget that sweet demonic voice – your pitch and intonation as well as your liaising? "
“Basing from the gesture of your not so well-developed bone structure predominantly – your skull – that gave you a very elongated face and the kind of food that you have right now, you are about to nosh your stomach with an impecunious meal they called ‘Kape’t pandesa’, uh – was that right?” said Inday as if ridiculing her.
“Yes. Would you like a bite?” replied Arajaya.
“Thanks but no thank. But would you mind if you join me at Starbucks instead of taking your breakfast in this approximately forsaken café with a very ghastly ambience.” Said Inday “I also want you to try my favorite Venti Java Chip Frappuccino along with cold sandwich and some Choux pastries. Don’t worry my treat!”
Arajaya stared at Inday, sneered at her then opened her MACbook Pro.
“Thank you for the offer but I prefer Coffebean to Starbuck. I just think Starbucks is a den of social climbers and bourgeoisies i.e. you.”
“Oh, dear! Don’t you think your getting rude, I just want you to experience life. Okay, I’ll – “ Inday was interrupted because Arajaya was busy working with her MACbook.
“And what are you trying to do Arajaya?” asked Inday impolitely.
“Hmm… nothing so important. You wouldn’t understand it even if I tell you.”
“Are you trying to undervalue my comprehension by implying that I will not understand the philosophy that you are doing with your MACbook? C’mon, don’t be so supercilious friend!”
“Okay, I am configuring its IEEE 802.15 to perpetuate the distribution of electromagnetic waves from the medium access control and the physical layer to the transport layer. Later, I will also track the process from the session layers in which the packets are sent and processed for the presentation layer to convert the signals into binary form. Example, if I tried to send “Inday go to hell” message, it will me converted to its hexadecimal value which is 496E49617900676F0068656C6C which will later be converted to its binary value of 01001001011111100100100101100001011110010000000001100111011011110000000001101000011001110110110001100110. Then, the application layer will check the binary value for error detection using parity bit (even). If there are errors, it will fix the massage then send it to the ALU for processing which will be passed to the CU for data transfer. Satisfied?”
Inday remained silent for awhile then ran towards Starbucks when she heard “1 Venti Java Chip Frappuccino for Inday!” to get her order.
“Starbucks bullshit!” said Arajaya to herself.
After eating, she decided to go to her work and accidentally passed-by in front of Starbucks when she heard Inday. “I was so careless. I thought that the wit I have in me which I found flamboyant in using any language I know of would simply astound them. I was just mortified that it took me a little pinch of effort not to step beyond the waterline, to just impart to the people I formerly know of that I have grown into a better personage – not just a chambermaid whom others look down to. I was just disgraced by the thing I have heard awhile ago that my heart beat faster than abnormal that I suffered from the incapability of speaking. Good thing that cute barista called my name. I just wish that someday, I would be able to face my worst nightmare that is yet to come – yet to come that will consume me and bury me to death. I just wish that day isn’t coming yet.” (inday nag-emote matapos matabla ni Arajaya sa Coffeebean).